Why do I keep feeling sad about a baby I didn’t want…?

I think everyday for at least some point of the day I will think about how I had to have an abortion. The process leading up to it. The situation with the guy beforehand. It sucks. I literally want to forget about it. It got triggered because my friend’s sister is pregnant and she’s due in December. Which means she would have got pregnant the month before I did. Yes in a really fucked up kind of way I was jealous and felt bad for myself. Obviously I didn’t express these emotions to him, and am ecstatic for him, and … Continue reading Why do I keep feeling sad about a baby I didn’t want…?

The hilarity of hindsight

So I’m going through my saved drafts and I’ve come across this post and it’s been very entertaining to read over. Ahh the beauty of hindsight, who would have thought that a few weeks after first writing this post I would have lost my virginity and within a year have to have an abortion. I think my sexual experiences are impacting my thoughts on myself as a sexual being. I think I’m noticing a pattern in myself of one of extremes and nothings. I’m 100% moving in to a period of abstinence as we speak. Anyway here’s the original post … Continue reading The hilarity of hindsight

The end of my abortion experience

I took my final pills yesterday. You take 4 pills of misoprostol via inserting two inside each mouth cheek. You wait half an hour for them to dissolve and after that time has passed you can drink water to swallow the rest if they are undissolved. Again I had read various stories online about different experiences. I must say it was not as bad as I was expecting. I took anti nausea and pain medication with my lunch before I took the misoprostol. I experienced cramping but nothing unbearable and it felt sore in that region. I would say it … Continue reading The end of my abortion experience

Another update

I can honestly say there’s been a huge shift in my thinking about what’s happened since Tuesday. I think I endured the rollercoaster of emotions throughout the week before involving the shock, confusion, anger and sadness. However, it’s now manifested in a much more positive outlook. I have definitely accepted that this is something that has happened to me, and it’s something that I am having to deal with. My choice to have an abortion does not make me a bad person or a stupid person. I’m just a girl who made a mistake and is having to pay for … Continue reading Another update

I thought this process was going to be easier… Update on an unplanned pregnancy

After enduring the horror of having to explain to a doctor that I didn’t understand how I got pregnant I’m finding this process is actually incredibly frustrating. When explaining that I wasn’t on contraception and we did use condoms, but I didn’t know if it split I was met with a harsh ‘what do you mean you don’t know… he definitely would have known’. It was difficult explaining that I didn’t get told. I don’t know if I was overreacting, but it felt like I was being judged for a situation that I couldn’t fully comprehend I was in. I … Continue reading I thought this process was going to be easier… Update on an unplanned pregnancy

I need to have an abortion…

I’m a full believer in always listening to what the earth is trying to tell you. I suppose I would classify myself as quite intuitive about my body/ overly paranoid. So many people around me are pregnant/having babies, I keep noticing babies and I keep having discussions about unwanted pregnancies and abortion referendums happening in Ireland etc… However, I knew something weird was going on with my body because I started feeling really tired without doing anything strenuous. I couldn’t even climb stairs without feeling a bit more out of breath than usual. I was highly aware that this was … Continue reading I need to have an abortion…