Full credit is now given to people who manage to continue blogging alongside uni/school/real jobs, it’s hard to dedicate time to writing and upkeeping a blog when other things get in the way.
For me, things have been ok. Final year of university is stressful, my dissertation is due in three weeks and I’ve been avoiding writing it for a while. There are a total of 0 words on the page, I was supposed to send my supervisor a draft of my first chapter today, which isn’t gonna happen…Deadlines are scary. I’m extending it to Monday (which probably isn’t a smart move). On top of that, today I found out my exam is on the second day of exams, which is 4 days after my last massive essay is due in, and I’m especially annoyed because the whole exam season is a month. Why oh why is mine so soon? Would have been way more ideal if I had an extra week. On the bright side, i now technically have a four month summer aka plenty of time to properly start job hunting etc. Am I ready and can I be bothered for real life? Right now? Absolutely not.
Moving on, taking citalopram has really helped me massively to become a much more positive person, and in earlier posts I raved about how good I’d been feeling. I must explain that I had one slip up where I got my prescription at a pharmacy near my uni who gave me a different brand of citalopram. I’m not sure if switching the brand caused it, or if it was a particularly stressful time at uni, but I’m sure the two combined at the same time didn’t help anything. But my oh my I have and will not ever experience anxiety like I did the two weeks after I switched medication. I’m talking no sleep with hot sweats at nights, and panic attacks in the morning. This coincided with uncontrollable crying about absolutely nothing, and anything and everything for hour long periods, multiple times a day. It was absolutely exhausting. I switched back brands though and things felt more manageable again.
I also went to my therapist who reminded me that I should be taking more time for myself particularly exercise (I admitted I’d basically given up with exercise due to stress over my deadlines at university). I must say the importance of doing exercise is one of those things that is annoyingly drilled into you from a young age, but the advice mainly goes over your head. However, it cannot be denied that the endorphins going after some exercised can really help things a lot.
Moving on again: writing this is me majorly procrastinating from writing my dissertation chapter which I’m seriously struggling to do at the moment. Sticking to deadlines when it has come to writing my dissertation has not been my forte to say the least.
I am seriously lacking motivation. Sigh. Any advice or motivation is seriously welcomed right now.